Firsts Forever..=)

It is now October and it has been four months since I first took the challenge of surviving the UP life. Time has just flown by in front of my exploring little eyes and now the first semester is about to take its final blows.

I can't help but reminisce all the experiences I've had in UP within those 4 months. For me, I've taken a really big leap as I entered the college boundaries. Many of my firsts took place in the large and diverse national university like when a little child has his/her several firsts as well in preschool. Honestly, I actually felt like an innocent preschool child when I first went as a student in UP. I felt so afraid of the new world that was about to rotate around my child-like ignorant mind.

My heart shivered every step of the way and it came to a point where it was really about to burst. Maybe it wasn't because of academic matters, instead it was more of my desire to actually fit in among the crowd of UP Diliman students. I just did not think at first that I was deserving enough to study in this prestigious school. I felt like a tiny little ant getting squished by other big bugs. Haha. It may seem funny but that is what it really felt like for me. I didn't know how to act around people. Would I act mature? Should I speak English so that I would seem intelligent? Would I act all hyped-up and say hi to all of them? Would I act quiet and shy or should I just act like myself? Well, I have to be honest. At first, I acted like how they acted. My personality depended on who I was talking to. If it was someone who spoke English, then I would try my hardest to speak in English too even if I was not really used to until my nose already bled. Haha. Just kidding. On the other hand, if I was talking to someone who acted so barbaric, then I would also do the same even if I was really more on the subtle side. I tried so hard to fit in and honestly, I still do at times but little by little I am starting to unveil the real Mai within me and hopefully they would accept me for who I really am.

Anyway, I was talking about having a lot of firsts in UP, right? I just want to share a few of them to you.=) Hmm... Where will I start?

As I've finalized my decision to study in UP, I knew that I was about to swallow the biggest challenge in my life so far. I was preparing for a real shocker but of course, I wanted everything to be normal. I used to study in an exclusive school so I was not used to having boys around. Well, we did have boys back in highschool but they were either the professors, the janitors, the canteen staff or the guards so it wasn't exactly like the normal world. Haha. Although I have a few guy friends, I really didn't know what it feels like to study or work with boys so obviously, it was one of my biggest firsts.

Anyone who first enters the university probably gets so astounded by how big it is. Well, it all went the same with me. In highschool, our campus was very small relative to the one in UP. In our school, you would see the same people everyday and even memorize where one goes at a certain time like in our group, we used to hang out in one certain spot ever lunch break and people were aware of that so they always knew were to find us. In my highschool, you can recognize and meet almost every person in the campus but in college, it's more difficult to do that. It's almost impossible to meet each and every person simply because it's just too big. People are free to go anywhere they want anytime unlike in highschool wherein classes just stay in each of their classrooms at a certain period of time so when I stepped on the UP campus, I felt so daunted. It was a first time for me to be able to study in a very large and overwhelming school.

Lastly, I think that the most significant first for me is the fact that in the university, I first learned how to become independent.=) Unlike in highschool, college students of UP are treated differently. They are expected to be able to stand up on their own two feet and at first, I was not ready to accept that reality. I did not believe that I could be independent because I was used to having a companion and having that companion do almost everything for me or at least help me. For me, it was the most difficult thing that I had to face. It made my adjustment period so much tougher. I had to enroll by myself, get into one college from another by myself, I had to buy and choose books and school materials by myself, I had to make friends and to study by myself, I had to commute by myself, I had to defend myself and I had to make all decisions by myself. I really had a hard time using my better judgement in deciding between different things but I knew that I had to learn so I tried. I did every task independently except only for those which really required me to seek for advice and you know what? I actually felt really good after I've accomplished everything. Now, I'm proud of myself and I know for a fact that I am capable of standing up on my own!=)

This is it for now but I am hoping that in the remaining semesters of my stay in UP, I will be able to learn more and share it with people once again. I'm looking forward to having more awakening experiences in the campus!=) But for now, it's time to say goodbye to the first semester. I will surely miss all my firsts but I know I will never forget them.=) They are now milestones of Mai's life!=)

Caught Within the Deadly Waves of Hope

An accident had happened to this girl, unknown.
Then she was stranded on a barren island, all alone.
There on the island, she suffered and moaned.
Longing for somebody, she continuously groaned.

She was completely lost in the world that she found,
all puzzled and hearing nothing but one sound.
It was the sound of silence made by no one around.
It seemed like the island really had a bound.

Creeping on the warm sand, to God she pleaded
and distant from her, she instantly found the food that she needed.
Resting in a small corner, she grabbed into her pocket
Suddenly finding her precious little locket.

Discovering her luck miraculously,
Now she knew again how it was to be happy.
Especially with the locket which she loved so dearly,
Nothing ever in that world could make her feel so sorry.

Her life there was simple, she continued on living
But here came a challenge that really got her thinking.
Upon her deep sleep one night, they both drifted away.
Apart from each other, the thing she needed and the one she loved to stay.

She could only save one, a decision had to be made.
Will it be her special locket or the food for her aid?
She dove into the ocean, still not knowing what to do
But she just kept on swimming down under, not giving anyone a clue.

Constantly thinking of what choice to make while under,
She suddenly swam up to the surface of the water.
She was swimming towards and nearer the object;
Towards her chosen and most loved little locket.

She held on to her locket and swam back to the shore
And said, "I wasn't able to leave the locket. It was to die for!"
Her face had a smile and not one sign of regret
While staring at her loved one's picture in that deary little locket.

After several months on the island, hunger was already killing her
But still she couldn't let go of the locket. Not ever!
Her life was already at stake and vanishing within the faded sand
But sadly she chose to die with the locket in her hand.

The Lord's Canvass

An artist's miraculous creation;
A masterpiece full of love and passion.
Single image and likeness expressed
From the painter's palette, blessed.

A life-filled picture
Showered with colors of worth and value, so pure.
Brightness of intellect and freedom applied,
Balanced with darkness of great responsibilty implied.

He then mixes a sense of consciousness,
Blending to the life of the picture for a sense of responsiveness.
A bewildering magic from the picture stands out,
Giving a glimmer of morality to draft out the impression of doubt.

Done! A work of art produced to be so remarkable,
Inspiring souls to do what's right and sensible.
A painting brought to life for a bit of dazzle.
Truth and good will eventually add sparkle!

Looking Through the Black and White Pictures of Anak Dalita

“Poverty often deprives a man of all spirit and virtue; it is hard for an empty bag to stand upright.” –Benjamin Franklin

Yesterday, we were asked to watch an old film reflecting the reality of the situation that most families here in the Philippines are suffering from, “Anak Dalita” illustrates well the issue of poverty. Directed by Lamberto V. Avellana, the movie creates a view in the minds of the audience on the true and heart-breaking effects of having a poor life among those who are desperately dreaming of a better life for themselves and for their families.

I just want to share with all of you this story and hopefully, you would develop an interest to this film.=)

The story took place in the ruins of a cathedral in Intramuros which painted the perfect picture of poverty among its settlers. But at the same time, the Church became a symbol of hope and unity present in the community.

Vic, a soldier from Korea returned to the Philippines to be with his dying mother but in the very short span of time spent with her, she eventually died. With her reached death, Vic became bitter. Unlike the citizens living there in the slums, he had no sense of belonging to a community. He hated his neighbors, he refused to accept his weaknesses and he refused to seek the help of others. All he knew was he was living his life alone and he was living it the way he wanted to. Unfortunately, since he was already part of the squatters’ community where his mother lived in, he had to be taught differently by his mother’s close friend, Tita. She worked as a prostitute in a nightclub just to survive the cruelty of poverty together with his younger brother. Despite this struggle for continued existence, she still accepted Vic in their small humble abode and took care of him when he was still mourning. Eventually, Vic learned to interact with his neighbors together with his deepening relationship with Tita.

As their lives progressed, they started to face the biggest challenge ever as they were asked to leave the slum settlement for the restoration of the house of God, the cathedral. Upsetting words crushed the hopeful hearts of these settlers. They had no other place to turn to. Poverty-stricken, Vic decided to turn to drastic means for survival. He worked for Cardo, a friend from the military. He became a desperate sympathetic smuggler in spite of his lover, Tita’s disapproval of it. As bad as this already seemed, he even shadowed his evil agenda with the blessed and pure image of the Virgin Mary. He took advantage of this blessing and opportunity given to him by the priest, Father Fidel. This is where the quote from Benjamin Franklin comes in. Because of poverty, people like Vic and Tita are blinded from seeing their values and beliefs.

They become victims of the thoughts of poverty being equal to death so they feel that they have no other choice but to take even the worst move as long as they will live.

As Vic was expecting something good in return for this chosen path, it just made everything worse for him. His supposed to be source of relief became the source of destruction for his life. His relationship with Tita was torn and his identity was ruined because of this evil act in disguise. Good thing Tita had a golden heart and a clear determined mind. She rescued him from the cruelty of a pursued life with Cardo. But later, when the smuggler found out, they ended up fighting and creating a chaos around the neighborhood. Because of their fight, the younger brother of Tita got shot and died. Danger also faced the life of Cardo as he fell from the cathedral but before he died, he miraculously had a change of heart and decided to give up his money for the poor settlers in the community.

Blessings poured on their mourning hearts. Father Fidel brought a revitalized spirit for the once less fortunate people of Intramuros. The area was resettled to a different place with the help of Cardo’s immediate desire to change and to help. Vic, Tita and the other settlers were given a new hope to live up to and a new life to respond to.

That is the end of the story.=) I reflected on its significance after and I had a thought that many Filipinos are currently experiencing the same situation as what our characters had. Poverty is a significant problem in our country today, right? Almost 3.8 million of our population is living below poverty threshold and the numbers are still growing. Many of them make cut-throat decisions like those made by Vic. They put aside their morality and take the risk of committing sins just to be able to survive another death-defying day. They throw away their dignities just for the welfare of their families depending on them. But thinking about them conscientiously, is a life full of indecent acts really worth living? I guess not. Poverty is merely a challenge for everyone that must be faced. It is a test on what their real stands in life are. It is only discipline that every person captured by poverty must gain. Just like in the story, one must

not give up his values and beliefs just to survive because in the end, if one does, one will not gain anything but instead lose everything.

I must admit that this film is really not as good as those films today but the lessons behind the story gives the magic to it!=) Enjoying a film really depends on how you appreciate it.=) No matter how boring a film is or how lame the actors and actresses act or how predictable it is, it's still the viewer's choice if he/she will make a movie worth it! Now I'm telling you that actually, I've learned a lot more from this film than what the story really implied. I learned how to appreciate and see the goodness in every movie that I watch!=)

It's all about me!=)

Hi there friends! Wow! I'm so glad you dropped by to read this amateur blogger's posts. Hehe. Probably you would ask, "Who is this girl and why should I read her blogs?" Well, it would be rude of me not to introduce myself because I'm very much aware that I'm just new to this kind of industry, as some people might call it.

So here it goes. I hope you can bear with me since I'm really not into blogging. :b

My name is Myra Rose Olave Javellana and I'm simply ME!=) People usually refer to me by my nickname which is Mai-mai or Mai.=) So where did the name Mai-mai come from and where did it all begin? If you are asking the same question, then you should talk to my mother! Haha. Just kidding!:b Actually, it all started long long ago when I was still in my mother's womb. We are all aware that pregnant women tend to have more odd behaviors towards things compared to normal people. And being a pregnant woman back then, my mother just badly craved for Siomai, this famous Chinese delicacy or Chinese dumpling. Since 'mai' is the last syllable of that word, then *tada* they named me Mai-mai!=)

I was born on the 13th of September in the year 1991 at exactly 6:27am in Lipa, Batangas according to my trusty NSO birth certificate! Haha.=) I remembered what my mother said about her pregnancy then. She told me that she really suffered when she was carrying me in her womb. Is it because I was too heavy? Haha. No, it was only because she was already a bit old to still have a baby. She said that she had a really hard time letting me out but it was a good thing that nothing bad happened to both of us and I thank God for that!=) Now, I am already 17 years old and still growing into a mature young lady.=)

I am currently a UP Diliman Freshman, taking up BS Business Economics. I must admit that I consider myself as a struggling student for the reason that I don't have a good background in many subjects. Where I studied highschool, everything was so much easier. We were spoon fed by our teachers with the lessons, the answers, the grades and just about everything. I didn't get use to being independent and to speaking up for myself but now I am proud to say that I can already do a lot of things by myself. I can now depend on myself to be able to survive the UP life and I am happy.=)

What else should you know about me? Uhm...

I'm really just your average girl with a twist!=) I am simple, amiable, fun to be with, approachable at times and cute. Haha. Just kidding. Well, maybe only because I can look a little younger for my age according to some people.=) I really like making friends because I really think that it would be fun if someday, wherever I go or turn, someone would recognize me and say hi to me!=) Although in class I may seem to be a very quiet student, outside the four walls of my classrooms, I can be a very talkative and friendly girl.=) I like exploring and seeing what other people are like 'cause honestly, I'm trying to search for real friends. I don't want to be a person who has so many friends but no true ones because as we all know, quantity doesn't matter but quality does.=) Hopefully, I will be able to find them in the campus.=)

I am proud to say that I'm in love with someone! Hehe. I'm in love with God!=) He's my source of strength and happiness whenever I face the most difficult challenges in my life. He assures me that I can always depend on Him even if everybody's already gone. With Him, I am safe from any harm and temptations. He is my refuge and I'm certain that I can never go wrong if I just entrust my life to Him!=) I believe in the saying that "everything happens for a reason". Sometimes it's not easy to accept understand this because of everything that you're going through but don't be blinded. Believe me, God has a plan for you! He is just preparing you for something better!=) Just hold on to your faith in Him and you will find the true happiness.=)

I am also the kind of person who treasures everyone who crosses her path. I know that every person that I meet is significant. Each one has a contribution to my life no matter how small or big it is.=) For this reason, I love all the people that I've met in my 17 years of existence especially those who have stayed with me despite every hardship that we've been through. I love my YFC friends, my highschool friends, my college friends, my workshop friends, my reviewmates, my other close friends, my acquaintances, my former and present classmates and of course, my family!=) I am really thankful to God for showering me with so much blessings like them!=) I know that I would never be this person today if not for each one of them so I am humbly grateful!=)

Like any other person, I'm not perfect. I know that I do have a lot of flaws and I'm a little rough around the edges. I admit that there are really times when I appear a bit snobbish to people. It is not that I intend to make people think like I'm really unapproachable, it is just that I don't want them to see me as someone lame and someone who they can just boss around or offend. I've been through a lot and I've been fooled by a lot of people for so many times already and to tell you the truth, I'm quite tired of being treated like that. That is why I'm trying to show people a different side of me.=) I have developed a strong personality because of those experiences and I am using this to actually defend myself when people already take advantage of my kindness to them. It's not that I act tough and all that. I just show it through the way I handle my life. I prove to people that I'm not as vulnerable as before and so far, it has been doing me well.=)

Hmm.. I think that those are all the things you need to know about me!=) I hope that you can also become a part of my life! Thank you!=) Take care and may God bless you!=)