It is now October and it has been four months since I first took the challenge of surviving the UP life. Time has just flown by in front of my exploring little eyes and now the first semester is about to take its final blows.
I can't help but reminisce all the experiences I've had in UP within those 4 months. For me, I've taken a really big leap as I entered the college boundaries. Many of my firsts took place in the large and diverse national university like when a little child has his/her several firsts as well in preschool. Honestly, I actually felt like an innocent preschool child when I first went as a student in UP. I felt so afraid of the new world that was about to rotate around my child-like ignorant mind.
My heart shivered every step of the way and it came to a point where it was really about to burst. Maybe it wasn't because of academic matters, instead it was more of my desire to actually fit in among the crowd of UP Diliman students. I just did not think at first that I was deserving enough to study in this prestigious school. I felt like a tiny little ant getting squished by other big bugs. Haha. It may seem funny but that is what it really felt like for me. I didn't know how to act around people. Would I act mature? Should I speak English so that I would seem intelligent? Would I act all hyped-up and say hi to all of them? Would I act quiet and shy or should I just act like myself? Well, I have to be honest. At first, I acted like how they acted. My personality depended on who I was talking to. If it was someone who spoke English, then I would try my hardest to speak in English too even if I was not really used to until my nose already bled. Haha. Just kidding. On the other hand, if I was talking to someone who acted so barbaric, then I would also do the same even if I was really more on the subtle side. I tried so hard to fit in and honestly, I still do at times but little by little I am starting to unveil the real Mai within me and hopefully they would accept me for who I really am.
Anyway, I was talking about having a lot of firsts in UP, right? I just want to share a few of them to you.=) Hmm... Where will I start?
As I've finalized my decision to study in UP, I knew that I was about to swallow the biggest challenge in my life so far. I was preparing for a real shocker but of course, I wanted everything to be normal. I used to study in an exclusive school so I was not used to having boys around. Well, we did have boys back in highschool but they were either the professors, the janitors, the canteen staff or the guards so it wasn't exactly like the normal world. Haha. Although I have a few guy friends, I really didn't know what it feels like to study or work with boys so obviously, it was one of my biggest firsts.
Anyone who first enters the university probably gets so astounded by how big it is. Well, it all went the same with me. In highschool, our campus was very small relative to the one in UP. In our school, you would see the same people everyday and even memorize where one goes at a certain time like in our group, we used to hang out in one certain spot ever lunch break and people were aware of that so they always knew were to find us. In my highschool, you can recognize and meet almost every person in the campus but in college, it's more difficult to do that. It's almost impossible to meet each and every person simply because it's just too big. People are free to go anywhere they want anytime unlike in highschool wherein classes just stay in each of their classrooms at a certain period of time so when I stepped on the UP campus, I felt so daunted. It was a first time for me to be able to study in a very large and overwhelming school.
Lastly, I think that the most significant first for me is the fact that in the university, I first learned how to become independent.=) Unlike in highschool, college students of UP are treated differently. They are expected to be able to stand up on their own two feet and at first, I was not ready to accept that reality. I did not believe that I could be independent because I was used to having a companion and having that companion do almost everything for me or at least help me. For me, it was the most difficult thing that I had to face. It made my adjustment period so much tougher. I had to enroll by myself, get into one college from another by myself, I had to buy and choose books and school materials by myself, I had to make friends and to study by myself, I had to commute by myself, I had to defend myself and I had to make all decisions by myself. I really had a hard time using my better judgement in deciding between different things but I knew that I had to learn so I tried. I did every task independently except only for those which really required me to seek for advice and you know what? I actually felt really good after I've accomplished everything. Now, I'm proud of myself and I know for a fact that I am capable of standing up on my own!=)
This is it for now but I am hoping that in the remaining semesters of my stay in UP, I will be able to learn more and share it with people once again. I'm looking forward to having more awakening experiences in the campus!=) But for now, it's time to say goodbye to the first semester. I will surely miss all my firsts but I know I will never forget them.=) They are now milestones of Mai's life!=)
